Sign #47 I'm Getting Old

Sorry for the light posting of late...I've been in Iowa playing step-n-fetchit for my mom. I've painted foundation, assembled and repaired numerous pieces of lawn and deck furniture, and installed a new doorbell, among many other things.

But back to the title of this post...

I actually almost kind of enjoyed watching The Gaithers on IPTV this Saturday night. Don't judge.

Blanket of Fire

Nature is so cool sometimes. Click on the picture to link to an article explaining this glorious phenomenon. How does the Big Bang and/or Charles Darwin explain this? Yeah, good luck with that one.


See also, Underwater Volcano.

Soundtrack to my life

Here is another one of those fun how-well-do-you-know-your-friend parasite e-mails. I figured I'd spare my friends having to waste an hour trying to reply and just post it here. As you can see, I have eclectic musical tastes. And this doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. So if they made a movie of my life, here is what I would hope they'd put on the soundtrack. Assuming royalties wouldn't be cost-prohibitive, of course.

Opening Credits:
"Ooh La La" - Rod Stewart

Waking Up Scene:
"Perfect Day" - Hoku

Car Driving Scene:
"Downtown" - Petula Clark

High School Flashback Scene:
"How's It Going To Be" - Third Eye Blind

Nostalgic Scene:
"Do You Remember" - Jack Johnson

Bitter, Angry Scene:
"You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morissette

Break-up Scene:
"Untouchable Face" - Ani DiFranco

Regret Scene:
"Don't Tell Me" - Madonna

Nightclub/Bar Scene:
"Jumpin' Jumpin'" - Destiny's Child

Fight/Action Scene:
"Redneck Woman" - Gretchen Wilson

Lawn Mowing Scene:
"Hoedown" - Aaron Copeland

Sad, breakdown scene:
"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan

Death Scene:
"I'll Fly Away" - Alison Krauss

Funeral Scene:
"Walk In Jerusalem" - Mahalia Jackson

Mellow/Pot-smoking Scene:
There wouldn't be one.

Dreaming About Someone Scene:
"Turn Me On" - Norah Jones

Sex Scene:
"Come Away With Me" - Norah Jones

Contemplation Scene:
"Sitting At The Window Of My Room" - Alison Krauss

Chase Scene:
"Good Ol' Boys" - Waylon Jennings

Happy Love Scene:
"At Last" - Etta James

Happy Friend Scene:
"Centerfield" [aka "Put Me In Coach"] - John C. Fogerty

Closing Credits:
"The Good Stuff" - Kenny Chesney

When worlds collide

For every sci-fi nerd who's ever fantasized about what would happen if Gene Roddenberry and George Lucas had combined forces, that question has been answered. I hesitate to admit this, for fear of how it may reflect on me, but I've been subjected to too many discussions of the relative merits of Star Wars and Star Trek to not find this at least a little amusing.

[This one's for you, Law Fairy.]

Copa Mundial

I think I've made it perfectly clear exactly what I think of soccer. Now, I understand the vast majority of the rest of the world loves it. That's their problem. But this is just inane. Is a sport best known for it's riotous hooligan fans really supposed to be our roadmap for world peace?

"Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist."

I did something tonight I haven't done in a long time - watched a college baseball game. So what, you might think. Yes, I watched the White Sox game for the fourth night in a row, but this is different, in a good way. Watching high school and college baseball is just for fun. You don't know any of these guys' names and probably won't see any of them ever again. Even the Missouri pitcher, who was the 11th pick overall in the amateur draft earlier this week, may never set foot on a major league field. These guys are playing because they love baseball - the same reason you're watching them. No endorsement contracts or bonuses are on the line when you step up to the plate in an NCAA super-regional playoff game - just a trip to Omaha.

And for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, the title of this post is a Crash Davis quote from Bull Durham.

Nesper Joke of the Day

There is an outdoor sign company in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, called Nesper, and they have an animated sign along I-380. Every time my brother's family or I drive by it on our way Home (that's capital-H Home, Mom and Dad's house) for a weekend or holiday, we take note of the joke of the day. Somehow a little tradition got started where, whenever I drive by it, I call my younger sister to share the Nesper joke of the day. So imagine my surprise when tonight, just as the White Sox began to fall apart and I muted the tv so I didn't have to listen to Hawk and DJ blather on, my phone rang. My sister was on her way Home from a visit to my brother's, and she was calling me with a joke of the day! So here it is...

How much did the pirate's earrings cost?
They were a buccaneer!

Yep, they are all that amusing.

What I learned today

When I was growing up, every night at dinner my parents would ask what we learned at school that day. I no longer live at home, regularly eat family dinner, or go to school, but tonight my answer would have to be that when choosing what to drink with your meal, "Ales are like red wine and lagers are like white wine." Yep, that's what I learned watching The Food Network tonight. But can it really be considered learning something if, intuitively, you kind of already knew it, it's just that you now have a more concise way of expressing it?

A Better Blog

How much cooler would my blog be if I'd named it "Stormy Petrel?"

That would make a much better porn star name than "Carlton Barnett," too. You remember the junior high 'what's your porn name' game where you take your first pet's name and the street you grew up on, right? I was always jealous of my friend, who got to be "Buffy Parkgate."

Two Chicago Complaints

I love Chicago, I've wanted to live here my whole life and I don't plan on leaving any time soon. (Unless I get a job that requires it, that is.) But occasionally, there are stupid little things that just irk me. Here are two.

1. I just saw a WGN baseball commercial. "From the world champs on the south side to the world renown on the north side...." Give it up. The Cubs are a perennially crappy team. But that doesn't matter, because people still love them for some inexplicable reason. Yes, going to Wrigley is an experience. It's fun - I even go from time to time. But if you're watching on tv, wouldn't you rather be watching good baseball? Granted, the White Sox have been hit-or-miss in that area lately, but the odds of catching a good game are significantly higher watching the South Siders.

2. When I finally got my IL driver's license the end of March I also registered to vote here. (Motor Voter, it may be a stupid law, but it's the law, so I'll take advantage of it.) I got a receipt with a phone number to call if I didn't receive my new voter registration card within 30 days. Well, 60 days later I called - and I'm not even in the system yet! My initial thought was, "go figure, my republican registration got 'lost' in Chicago." But Illinois has open primaries, so you don't even register with a party affiliation. It's just the general incompetence (or laziness) of the IDOT employees. Apparently they don't send the voter registration forms in regularly, so I'm supposed to check back in 2 weeks. I guess it's a good thing I started in March if I want to be able to vote by November.

Fortunately the 57th Street Art Fair is this weekend, so I'll be able to bask in some warm I-love-my-neighborhood feelings. And all will be right in the world again - well, at least in my little world.