Sacrilege

I just saw a Gatorade commercial. The background music was the anthem of America's Pastime, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." So imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw not my beloved White Sox, not the despicable Yankees, not even the irrelevant Toronto Blue Jays. No, it was soccer players. Soccer, an hour and a half of sissy boys running around and *maybe* scoring twice. Soccer, the reason half the baseball fields in public parks across the country disappeared in the nineties. Soccer, the most boring game ever played. It was almost enough to make me switch to Powerade. Almost.

AI: One more goodbye

I'm glad the judges reconsidered their appraisal of Katherine at the top of the show. She was good last night, much better than they gave her credit for.

Now on to endless recaps. Yes, Simon was childish and Paula was crazy - we get it. Gee, another lame Ford commercial sung by the remaining finalists. Imagine that.

And now everyone's favorite - the VSMG. At least there will be one good love song sung this week. (Unless Andrea Bocelli pulls a Rod Stewart.) Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for an accent. Not only does he have an amazing voice, but the slightly rolled Rs make it that much more enjoyable. Ok, fine, so I might own a Josh Grobin CD too, what's it to ya?

Oooooh, three groups of two:
Far side of the stage: Katharine and Chris
Middle of the stage: Elliott and Taylor
Near side of the stage: Kellie and Paris

Kellie and Paris soooo better be the bottom two. I'm going to hate "vote for the worst" even more if it's not them. And my money is on Kat and Chris for top two.

Elliott and Taylor are the first to be sent back to the couch. No surprise there. Have either of them been in the bottom yet?

Chris and Kat are safe, with the highest number of votes last night. I haven't lost my touch.

Kellie is GONE!!! Hooray!!! It's about time!!! Woo-hoo!!! Ding Dong the witch is dead!!!

Ok, see you next week.

Stalker tools

This is so fun!
HT: djrabbit

AI: Top 6

We're half way through the elimination rounds - 6 down, 6 left. Tonight will feature love songs and VSMG Andrea Bocelli. I'm fairly certain I'm not the only one who finds Andrea Bocelli and American Idol an interesting combination. He must be a CD to promote. Now let's get on with some singing! But first David Foster (VSMG's producer) is going to criticize everyone. Sweet.

Katharine - I Have Nothing - The voice is amazing as always, though not quite Whitney in her prime. The dress, not so amazing. She needs some Spanx to cover up those bumps and lines.

Elliott - He was good, but I don't think he quite justified Paula's reaction. Tears? Really?

Kellie - Unchained Melody - I'm not expecting much. And she's not providing much. This is dull, just like the VSMG's producer predicted. Not as pitchy as last week, but still pretty bad.

Paris - The Way We Were - I won't hold it against her that she's singing Streisand, or that I didn't really care for that movie. She really owned this song and made it her own, which is what we've all come to expect from Paris.

Taylor - Just Once - This was a solid vocal. I think Taylor has shown the most flexibility with the themes, and tonight was no different. It didn't entertain me as much as some of the other weeks, but it should be good enough to get through another week.

Chris - Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman - It's good to see the VSMGs actually helping them improve their technique. I'm not a huge fan of this song to begin with, and Chris isn't helping. The Spanish guitar isn't helping either. The whole thing is just off somehow. What is Paula doing now, some sort of convulsions? I should stop trying to figure her out.

Overall, not a strong week. I think this week could end up being a pure popularity contest. Oh wait, that's every week. Nevermind. See you tomorrow.

Squidward

Your a** is out of luck now that you opened
this UNLESS you repost this in 1 min.
Use the character you most identify with as the subject/title...



::SPONGEBOB::
i miss someone special


::Grumpy Bear::
_taken but confused_


::Mickey Mouse::
_single and loving it_


::::Squidward::::
_single but like someone_


::Patrick::
_dont give a f*** anymore_


::Bullwinkle::
_just want to F*** someone right NOW_


::CHICKEN LITTLE::
_taken and love that person very MUCH_


::Barney::
_im a dumba** and dont care about relationships_

::::Winnie The Pooh
_I'm a secret Crime Fighting Ninja and I DO kick A**

::Cookie Monster::
_ You love cookies

**Update: edited for family-friendliness :)

Spam?

Why is it that I've started getting copious amounts of e-mail about engagement rings and wedding bands? And, more to the point, why doesn't Hotmail think these are junk mail?

AI: Top 7, Standards

This week's American Idol blogging will be consolidated into one entry. I was out of town (home for Easter) and am frantically speeding through my DVR of last night's performances before tonight's elimination. Sorry I missed Bucky's ouster last week, but direct angry tirades on that subject to Comcast.

American standards AND Rod Stewart?! Could we be any luckier? Ok, so I'm serious about the genre and only half-serious about the VSMG.

Chris - What a Wonderful World - This is one of my favorite songs. Yes, I know I have a lot of favorites, but I really love music, so lay off. It was quite refreshing to see a different side of Chris, finally. He did well.

Paris - These Foolish Things - She looked a little old in that suit, but damn that girl can sing! Very Billie. This was amazing.

Taylor - You Send Me - More Sam Cooke!!!! I need to find a man that can sing songs like this to me. *swoon* This man has got a heck of a voice, and his "moves" didn't even bother me much this week. Fantastic.

Elliott - It Had to Be You - I know before I hear a word I won't like it because Elliott doesn't look like Harry Connick, Jr., the dreamiest man ever. He's doing an ok version, but this isn't nearly as good as the previous three have been. I'm catching a hint of Sammy Davis in his tone tonight, and that's not a particularly good thing. Paula did NOT just compare him to Harry! She really is on drugs.

Kellie - Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered - Her dress is too tight and the twang is not working for me. Those first couple of lines sounded like she was singing with a mouth full of marbles. And here come the pitch problems. She has got to go soon. Ewwwwwwww, please make it stop! I thought it couldn't get any worse, but OMG, she's wearing body glitter.

Ace - That's All - I do so love a man in a good suit. And getting that hair under control is a step in the right direction, too. Unfortunately, it's becoming painfully clear this week who has the real talent, and it's not Ace. And the falsetto wasn't even that objectionable this week. He wasn't the worst, but he's not the best, either.

Katharine - Someone to Watch Over Me - So many great songs to choose from, I can see why she's having a hard time picking. It would be great to have another woman on the charts singing this kind of music. Move over Diana Krall, here comes Kat. She handled this song like a pro, with that little hint of sultriness and pining. And what great range. At least we're finishing on a high note, like the show started.

Unless "Vote for the Worst" comes through, I think Kellie will be gone this week.

********

And we're back. And my cable is messed up again. Comcast will be getting yet another belligerent phone call.

But more importantly, VSMG Rod Stewart! Who doesn't love classic '70s rock? I heisted my sister's Queen's Greatest Hits CDs this weekend. I had to cleanse my mind after last week's debacle.

The Way You Look Tonight - This song will be played during the dance portion of my wedding reception. But sung by Tony Bennett. It's hard to believe this man ever sang a song that included the line "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy." He's one of the creepier aging British rockers, though he's still a distant second (or third?) to The Rolling Stones.

Now let's get on with Ryan's elimination antics. But first, we must scare everyone half to death with a preview of next week's theme: Andrea Bocelli and love songs.

Two groups:
Elliott on the far side
Chris staying close
Paris sticking close as well
Kellie is sent to the far side
Ace is on the near side
Kat is going across to the far side

Taylor obviously can't be in the low group because either group he joined would make four. And Ryan just confirmed that, but he's making Taylor pick favorites. Ouch. Way to upset the group dynamic, producers. Even if he guesses the correct group (the one that isn't the lowest three), there is no "right" answer. Somebody is going to be upset either way. Taylor is joining Chris, Paris, and Ace, but is warned away. Kellie, Elliott, and Katharine are safe, with Taylor. It so better not be Paris. I can see Chris's fan base not being motivated by the genre this week. And Paris is safe - phew.

I agree with Simon, this is probably the end of the road for Ace. And he is out. Finally - no more falsetto or lingering camera gazes!

See you all next week for love songs!

"LAKHawk Out"

Happy Easter!

I'm blogging from the homestead in Iowa, where we just finished doing the dishes from Easter dinner.

Here's a belated birthday gift for you all. I usually score much older on these things, so this is a nice change - only 3 years off:

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

AI: Top 8

Tonight the top eight finalists will be butchering songs recorded by Queen. I don't even need to see the performances to know one thing - Elliott (Bucky, Ace, and Kellie, take your pick) is no Freddie Mercury. But hey, who doesn't love "Arena Rock"? I really hope somebody sings Fat Bottom Girls!

Bucky - Fat Bottomed Girls - Of course my least favorite would sing one of my favorite songs ever. This sounds more like Skynnrd than Queen - it is NOT a country song. He's so dull. Boooooooo. I hope whoever sings Bicycle is better.

Ace - We Will Rock You - Huh? My high school pep band handled this song better. This is just weird. And I'm hating the leather pants. But it was worth suffering through to get a quick shot of Mickey Dolenz in the audience. I wonder if episodes of The Monkees are out on DVD.

Kellie - Bohemian Rhapsody - So she's not just naive, she really is dumb. Why on earth would you take on one of the single most iconic songs EVER? Fortunately, I will never know just how awful this performance was, as my cable seems to be going haywire - it's silent and pixelated. This better be remedied quickly or Comcast will be getting (yet another) angry call from me. Wait, Simon just said it was good?

Chris - It looks like Chris is singing now, but there's no sound, so I don't know what he is singing. How am I supposed to make wise cracks now?

Ok, so it only took me 10 minutes and a commercial break to remember I have another television that would not be affected by the cable wonkiness.

Katharine - Who Wants to Live Forever - Interesting choice, but good. She's really showing off her voice. Good call, I think the song change paid off.

Elliott - Somebody to Love - Not only is he no Freddie Mercury, but he's also no George Michael. (I know he's gay, but what pre-teen girl didn't love the video for "Faith"?) Elliott seemed to be channeling Rich Mullins tonight. (I was going to go with Kirk Franklin, but that gives him too much credit.) This song was tough and could have really solidified his place as one of the top contenders, but he just missed.

Taylor - Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Taylor might want to rethink the whole dancing thing, but I thought this was a good song for him. Wow, now that is an entertainer! Best vocal of the night, in my opinion. And Simon probably is drunk at the judges table, how else could he sit next to Paula all night?

Paris - The Show Must Go On - Paris is pretty hit-or-miss, but tonight was a hit. I'm not as familiar with this song as I am some of the others, but I'm liking her performance. And the extensions look much better this week than they did on 21st Century night.

After catching the recaps - Kellie was in fact good this week. And I still don't know what song Chris was singing, but it sounded the same as everything else he's ever sung.

Who's Out? I think Ace may be back at the bottom this week. His performance this week was kinda funky...in the smelly cheese way, not the musical way.

Ok, gotta go call Momma LAKHawk and wish her a Happy Birthday now.

Toodle-oo

Another year down

Today was my birthday. I feel old. On the bright side, I feel like I've closed the book on one of the more crap-tastic years of my life.

A brief tally:
Moves: 2 (mine and my parents)
Bar exams taken (and thankfully passed): 1
Resumes sent out: lost count
Callbacks/interviews w/o an offer: 5
Mind-numbing temp jobs: 1
Times dumped: 1
Dates since then: 0
Number of brothers (out of 2) who called, e-mailed, or IMed today: 0

So here's to a new year...Nowhere to go but up!

**update**
One brother called at 11:15 after he got home from bowling (and I suspect after my sister reminded him).

AI: elimination night

This will be quick, as I'm on a 10+ hour a day temp project that requires me to get up at 5:30 to drive out to the suburbs. I'm shot.

Kenny Rogers has never been a favorite, still isn't.

Oooh, Queen next week. Interesting.

Groups of three - Seacrest changing things up a bit. But only after yet another commercial break of course. Well, I guess I was wrong this week, as both Ace and Katharine are safe. Hmmmm, very interesting.

Mandisa is going home?! I guess mayber her fan base didn't tune in for country night. I'm a sorry to see her go.

See you next week. Same Seacrest Time, Same Seacrest Channel.

"LAKHawk Out"

AI: Top 9 - Country Night

It's Country Night! Kenny Rogers! Mmmmm, chicken. *drool*

Taylor "Take Me Home Country Road" - John Denver? Really? I expected more from Taylor. Granted he's more of a blues/soul kind of guy, but he definitely should have been able to find something to suit him better.

Mandisa "Any Man of Man" - If anybody can pull of the Shania attitude, it's Mandisa. Unfortunately, this is lacking energy. I won't be too critical of that, though, as she's giving it her own twist - not so much country. And so far Taylor and Mandisa have both sounded like they were in some kind of echo chamber.

Elliott "If Tomorrow Never Comes" - I love this song when Garth does it; it's a great country ballad. But this is feeling very Michael Buble to me. And it's not at all touching. Or maybe it's just that looking at Elliott is blocking any emotion.

Paris "How Do I Live Without You" - Paris is a good match for Faith; she has the pipes to do this song justice. She met my expectations - this is the first time in weeks I've actually enjoyed her. My favorite of the night so far.

Ace "Tonight I Wanna Cry" - Very pitchy. And he's no where near as dreamy as Keith Urban (even w/o the accent). Good grief - not more falsetto!

Kellie "Fancy" - I'm not going to pick on Kellie's song this week. She was adequate. Her personality still drive me nuts, though, so that's fair game. ;)

Chris "Making Memories of Us" - He is much closer to tapping the hotness that is Keith Urban. And it's kind of refreshing to hear a little bit different sound from Chris.

Katharine "Bringing Out the Elvis in Me" - This was a solid vocal performance, but it was kind of dull. She should be safe, though.

Bucky "Best I Ever Had" - This should have been Bucky's week to shine, but he was just average. His vocals were fine, but does he really think he can pull off sex symbol?

In summary...Was anyone else slightly disturbed by Kenny Rogers' surfer-esque look? And I know I'm not the only one who was less than thrilled with the performances tonight. And I love country music, so that's not it. Oh well.

My prediction: Ace or Katharine - I doubt either of them motivated their fanbase with lackluster country performances.

Guten Tag?

I guess I should brush up on my German.

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Thanks, odderie.